alanwsmith.com ~ links ~ podcast

In Nov. 2017, I had a full-blown manic bipolar episode. For two weeks, I ran around my house naked recording audio and video and taking notes about my plans to fix the world. These notes are part of that. They were also an attempt to stop talking and fight back against the "pressure to talk" that comes with mania.

This is not a cohesive, edited piece. It's not something crafted for a movie sequence with dramatic music and a profound epiphany at the end. It the raw scribbling of someone in the throws of mania. If you're interested in seeing what that actually looks like, this is it.

[NOTE: there are lots of scribbling and odd breaks in the text that is hard to describe in alt text. Weird breaks are not unexpected] Text: Ahhh... The iPad. Apple Pencil, thank god fo ryou (see right now, I'm thinking about y'all). Ummm... Things. deep breath (then an scratch image where I attempt to draw a stick figure breathing out). There's an 'In 2, 3, 4' box at the bottom
There's an Out, 2, 3, 4 in a box at the top of the image which connects to the In, 2, 3, 4 from the prior image. Text:What if we don't use numbers (with an arrow pointing to the Out, 2, 3, 4 box). But (ding) represents bell of yeah... self awareness. - Okay. This is fun and all, but Imma do this without y'all
Text: watching (and then the words for the res with a line through them) - I'll probably make a few notes. On the right side is a box with 'This is helping me slow down' on it. [There's an arrow pointing down to text at the bottom that says]. Not that line specifically but the relative
turning off the shower because [drawing of a bell with the word ding next to it and the word bell with an arrow pointing to the drawing] but I'm standing up so it's hard to write [a word that looks like 'write' is scratched out]
well. my hand writing is shit even when I'm sitting down. [scratched out text 'So I don't have a way' with lines drawn above and below] - [a few words are scribbled out on the side of the page] - See, I didn't have to decide on that word for me. I had to decide on it for the audience.
[an arrow coming from the top of the image pointing to the first line] - But, [scratched out word] It took [horizontal line] - [scratched out: OK I'm gonna try to keep] - OK: For the purposes of [horizontal line] [scratched out: This wou] - This would have helped [horizontal line] - Oh: New Thing. I was about to decrease the size
[a box at the top with: That'll make sense in the video.] - [A horizontal line] - [scratched out words: Because I] - So: my mouth can [scratched out word: allmost with four 'l's] keep up w/ my brain. But, [scratched out like only] - like it falls behind a bit sometimes. [An arrow pointing to the word sometimes] - [the words 'Awareness Low' in the bottom corner with a yellow highlight over it]
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I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these
I'm still working on getting alt text for all of these